Effective Listening

Effective Listening

1. Never tell jokes. Jokes ridicule people and always alienate someone.
   Tell self deprecating funny stories. We trust people who have imperfect lives - like us. But don’t reveal all your faults at once - they might brand you a real loser.
2. Dress a little better than your audience so they see you as the expert but not too removed.
3. Look them in the eye. We trust you if you look at us. Don’t stare at that proverbial spot on the back wall. Look at and talk to each person in the audience - one at a time.
4. Smile. They will naturally smile back at you. If you think your audience looks miserable - remember they are a mirror of the speaker.
5. Tell stories - don’t lecture. Kids plead with their parents, ‘Tell us a story.’ They never say, ‘Give us a lecture.’ Why do you think we hate lectures - and why I slept through so many at university.
6. Speak the language of the audience. With engineers - talk slide rules, structural forces and tolerances. Whisper the word RAM to computer nerds and watch their eyes light up. When speaking to associations learn if they are called clients, members, associates, delegates or true believers.
7. Help them laugh. Every one loves to laugh. Remember the scene in Mary Poppins with the staid bankers. The old geezer died laughing. Don’t kill them, but inject some humour.
8. Talk about things they can relate to. Sales people relate to cold calls, warehousers to stock-outs , bureaucrats to policy formation, and entrepreneurs to cash flow. Remember that everyone relates to family.
9. Be yourself. Be comfortable. Prepare; but it’s okay to make mistakes. If you are plastic and too polished they won’t believe you.

Controlling Nervousness

1. The number one protection against nervousness is knowing your subject cold. Be over-prepared and you'll automatically feel better about your presentation.
2. Talk to one person at a time. Literally, look directly into the eyes of one listener at a time, just as you normally do in one-on-one conversation. This will be difficult at first if you're used to scanning or avoiding eye contact, but it's worth the effort to acquire this basic habit of effective speech.
3. Stand up straight. Correct posture will make it easier for you to breathe properly which will in turn make it easier to get your words out naturally.
4. Don't rely on alcohol or drugs to calm your nerves. The result may be slowed reaction time, slurred speech and hazy memory.
5. Know exactly what your opening line is going to be. Knowing your opening statement will reduce worry about getting started, the most bothersome time for most speakers.
6. Just before you get up to speak, say to yourself: "I know what I'm going to say and I'm glad for this chance to say it.". Keeping Audience Attention

Keeping Audience Attention

• Speak up. Talk a little louder than you think you have to. Most people speak far too softly and the result is often mumbling. (Speaking up also helps you feel less nervous).
  Use illustrations that force the audience to visualize. The listener's mind is hungry for pictures. Give them something to "see."
• Use "first person" stories when possible. The audience perks up for phrases like "the other day I...," "I have found from my own experience," and "a friend of mine once told me."
• Pause occasionally. Pauses are perhaps the most effective technique for regaining the attention of the audience. Most speakers neglect this powerful idea because the silence is deafening to them; however, the pause is welcomed by the audience. Try it and you'll see all eyes looking back to you for your next statement.
• Save handouts until after your presentation. If you give people materials at the beginning of your talk, they'll read instead of paying attention to you.
• Throw in some rhetorical questions, like, "What would you think if...?" These are questions you don't expect anyone to answer out loud. The effect is usually to force people to respond mentally, hence keeping them on track with you.